i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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