When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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