I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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