I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Randomize
