How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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