didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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