I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
