i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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