he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
