The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Randomize
