In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
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Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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