Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
