I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize