I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
