Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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