i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
