you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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