Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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