He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
