her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
