so that wasnt chicken after all
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
