i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
