My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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