What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
