so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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