If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Randomize
