maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
