I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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