It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
this hospital has no fireball
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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