There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
