I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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