I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
