Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
