I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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