Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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