before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
If I die, sorry about rent.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
