i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
