No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
