help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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