they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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