I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You don't make any sense
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