it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
