I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
nutella sex= disaster
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You ruined the universe
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
