Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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