I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
