I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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