he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
