Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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