Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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