I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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