I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
