But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
