you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize