Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
