Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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