it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
and she was petting her beer can
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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