Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
