so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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