Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
