I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
