If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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