I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
