I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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