She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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