Yo dont text me then not text me
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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