so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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